To Be A Freak
by Myrile
Summary: A fairly random story of purely satirical interest to me and a few select others.


**AN: **She would so do all of this. That's what makes it funny.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of this fic because that would make me own Rebecca and that would be really weird.

**Who's That? **

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"Hi… are you Sirius Black?" Sirius turned and looked at the girl standing off to the side of the platform. She was wearing heavy black eyeliner that made her gray-green eyes look huge. Her artificially black silky hair fell just above her shoulders and was tucked behind her ears.

Her ears. The right one was adorned with black and silver earrings, studs and rings, marching all the way up her ear and the left had two rings in the lobe and three studs in the top. Weird. He'd never seen someone with such creepy ears before. And her nose. It was a nice nose all and all but it had a silver ring pierced through her right nostril. Her skin was fairly pale, not ghostly or anything, but pale. And she had on dark red lip gloss. She was… well… hot? In a strange way?

"Yeah I'm Sirius Black. You are?" Yes, she was defiantly kind of cute despite the fact that she had crazy piercings. She was really quite skinny, he thought now that her face had ceased to interest him.

She was wearing black satin pants that were tightish at the top got really baggy nearer the bottom. Chains hung down to near her feet starting at the front pockets and crossing over to the opposite pocket in the back. She was wearing a low cut blood red tank top with black lace covering the top and straps and two black stripes running down the sides. She had a tattoo of an angel being strangled by a snake on her right arm.

"I'm… um… Rebecca Black. I'm new here." She looked down, kind of shy. She raised one hand with long black fake nails to fiddle with the two skull rings she wore on a chain around her neck.

"Oh. That's cool. Where'd ya move from?" He noted that she was wearing black and red lace arm-wormers. They made her writs look even smaller then they were.

"I'm from America, via Israel. I'm coming here for school. Well… I'd better go put my stuff on the train now…" she turned around began to walk away. She was walking slowly because she was wearing platform combat boots.

Suddenly she turned around and screamed "I love you!" and then ran away, miraculously not falling off her shoes. Sirius stared after her. That was with out a doubt the weirdest girl he had ever met. But he had no problem with people loving him so… he grinned and walked over to his compartment, ready to laugh this over with James.

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Later on the train ride Sirius got up to go to the bathroom. While he was walking down the corridor of the train he felt someone watching him. He turned and saw someone ducking down behind a corner. He walked over to the corner and looked around. There was no one there.

"That's weird." He said aloud. He looked around one more time and walked off again. He still felt as though he was being watched but he just couldn't figure out how someone could be watching him. With a nervous glance over his shoulder Sirius hurried back to his compartment, forgetting about going to the bathroom.

"Hey, Sirius," called James, "guess what."

"What?" Sirius asked flopping down beside Remus.

"Hogwarts started a new exchange student program. Students from schools in France, Germany, Brazil, Russia, Japan, Ethiopia, and America can come to Hogwarts for one year of study if they are 15 or older. And we can go to those places… if our parents let us… and if we are nearly fluent in the language… and if the schools accept us which they only will one or two students from each country."

"Yeah, I know." Sirius said thinking of the strange girl he had met on the platform.

"How the hell do you know that!" James looked furious. "I was supposed to have the news first this time!"

"Yeah, well, I met this girl on the platform and… yeah… well she told me that she was from America… right before she told me she loved me. She was kind of weird…" and he proceeded to describe Rebecca in detail.

James was laughing his head off by the end, Peter was giggling, and even Remus had a small smile on his face. "Dude," James gasped, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes, "this is too good of an opportunity to pass up. I mean, she's obsessed with you, she hot, go for it!"

Sirius shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know. It'd be kind of weird going out with someone who's obsessed with you."

James gave him a critical look. "Whatever man, I just think your passing up a good opportunity."

"Well," said Remus, "I think your making a good choice. I mean that'd be kind of like taking advantage of her… you know." He shrugged.

James looked disgusted at this display of logic. "Fine, whatever… just… whatever."

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The train ground to a halt as they neared Hogwarts. James, Lupin, and Peter quickly went and found a carriage to sit in. "Come on Pads!" James yelled at Sirius who was lagging behind. Sirius looked up at him.

"Hu? What'd you say?" Sirius snapped his head around and winced. James laughed at the surprised look on his friend's face.

"Hello space out man. Carriage leaving now. Get in." James reached out and pulled his friend into the carriage. "Why you so spacey anyhow?"

"I just keep feeling like someone's watching me." He stared out the window, uncharacteristically silent.

James looked at him, worried. "Hey, it's probably just one of the one million girls out there, ok?" Sirius nodded but he still looked faintly pensive.

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Rebecca looked around her carriage. It was… well… empty. She hadn't expected the English to be so… stuffy. She probably should have changed cloths and taken out some of the earrings but after going to school in New York for five years and staying there with friends during the summer you kind of forgot what normal was. She lifted a lock of her hair and sighed. At lest she a gotten rid of the red stripes in it. That might have been way too much.

"Hi! There's more room in here, right?" A red haired girl, 16ish like Rebecca, poked her head in through the door. Rebecca laughed sardonically and the girl winced. "Yeah… that was a dumb question. Um… Can we sit here? Me and my friends?" She gestured to three girls standing outside with her. The tallest had brown curly hair, hazel eyes, and was smiling. The other two looked like twins. They both had straight blond hair and blue eyes.

"Yeah, sure. It's not like anyone else is." She turned her face towards the wall.

"Thanks, I'm Lily Evans by the way." Lily smiled and climbed in, the other girls following her. "This is Kim, Kimberly Johnson. She's in Gryffindor with me." She said, gesturing to the brown-haired girl. "Gina and Adele Hoffman are transfer students from Germany. Where are you from?"

"So I really do stick out a lot, do I?" Rebecca turned around and looked at Lily. Lily looked embarrassed. But Kim just smiled.

"No, you do stick out but so do all the transfers. Hogwarts is small enough that once you get to sixth, or seventh in my case, year you know every girl your age." Kim said this all with an open smile.

"Thanks for telling us how weird we are." Gina said tartly. Her English was a lot better then Rebecca had expected, perfect actually, just accented. Adele just glanced up and then went back to reading a book that was too thick to be true.

Studying her new companions more carefully Rebecca noticed a badge on Kim's robe. "What's that?" she asked pointing at it.

"Oh," Kimberly blushed, "um… that's just…"

"It's her Head Girl badge. Proves she's never done anything wrong. Kim, your face is going red. Is this embarrassment I see?" Lily grinned evilly. Kim gave her the evil eye. Rebecca smiled and settled back into her seat. Perhaps this wouldn't be so weird after all.

"Look," said Adele suddenly, pointing out that window, "it's Hogwarts. You know I've always wondered why it got that name. _Hogwarts, A History_, never says why." Rebecca looked up quickly, eager for her first glimpse of the school. It looked like a big stone building… a castle actually. She sighed.

"Well I better get going." She said as the carriage stopped.

"Wait, wait, wait." Gina protested. "What are you going to do, just desert us? Hello? We don't know where to go either?"

"Look over there you guys," said Lily as they all got out of the carriage, "see that man over there?" she was pointing to a middle-aged professor with light hair and piercing blue eyes. "That's Professor Dumbledore. He's probably here to get you guys. Come on." She started walking over to him, waving for the others to follow.

The Professor smiled at them. "Hello, I assume you are transfer students?" Gina nodded brightly. "It's nice to see you all made it here safe and sound. Miss Evans, Miss Johnson, you can continue on to the castle now. I'll take these three." Kim and Lily both waved goodbye to the other girls then hurried on up to the castle. "Now are we all here?" said Dumbledore looking around the group.

Rebecca turned back from staring off after the two girls and began looking at the other transfer students. There was one from each of the countries in the transfer program. Gina and Adele must have gotten special permission to come together.

The French girl had to be that snobby looking brunette. She was thin, pale, and medium height. Her hair was light brown and done in loose curls that looked very pretty on her. Her eyes where green and rather small. Rebecca thought she heard someone address her as Serena.

Then there was the boy with tan skin and white teeth. She knew what his teeth looked like because he kept grinning at her. Pathetic, really. Brown eyes, straight black hair too… he was probably the Brazilian.

Which meant the pale skinny boy who introduced himself as Alex was Russian. His whitish skin and sandy hair made him seem to glow in the sun. His face looked rather weaselish really and his blue eyes looked creepily clear.

The Japanese and Ethiopian boys where talking hurriedly in an undertone. They looked kind of funny standing next to each other. The boy from Japan was almost a head shorter then the boy form Ethiopia. They both looked really smart though.

They all followed Dumbledore up, into the entrance hall and stood there for a moment, staring. The professor pulled out a pocket watch and checked the time. "Yes," he muttered to himself, "they should be about done with the sorting." Then he turned to the eight transfer students. "When you go through that door," he said pointing to a small wooden door, "you will be on the stage in the Great Hall. You will each be sorted into houses. Which every table is yelling the loudest is probably the one you should go to. Everyone ready? Ok, let's go." And without giving the students a chance to think this all over or ask any questions he ushered them all into the Great Hall.

Rebecca stared back at the sea of faces staring up at her, nervous for a second. But all her nervousness faded when she saw one face. Sirius Black. Damn he's hot, she sighed. Then, grinning, she reached into her pocket and placed her fingers on her thought projector.

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_**Sirius Black you're amazingly hot and I love you.**_

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Everyone in the whole hall heard the words. But no one had spoken them. They didn't sound spoken, either. They sounded like they had just been broadcast from everywhere in the room. Sirius spun around as everyone stared at him. Luckily at that moment Dumbledore cleared his throat and distracted everyone from him.

Sirius turned to James. "Who the hell said that!"

James laughed. "Dude, someone just told you that you're hot and they love you. Why the hell are you so creped out? You should be enjoying this."

Remus glared at James. "You're only saying that because you wish Lily would tell you you're hot… which she won't 'cause you're not." James turned red and the other Marauders laughed at him. "Look," said Lupin suddenly, "they've started the sorting."

Sure enough Serena Aundel was putting her hand over the hat. "Slytherin!" the hat yelled as she was illuminated with a green light. Miss Aundel walked coolly off the stage and over to the Slytherin table where she sat down next to Draco Malfoy.

"Next," cried Dumbledore, "is Rebecca Black from the School of Jessin Park, New York." Rebecca walked up behind the hat and was instantly surrounded by a red light. "Gryffindor!" The hat screeched.

As she walked by the Slytherin table one of them shouted "hey, what's up with the weird clothes? And those earrings? I mean, come on poser, get a life." Rebecca stopped; stared at the girl who said that, flicked her off, and walked over to the Gryffindor table while sliding her finders into her pocket.

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**_Those Slytherin bitches need to stop trying to fuck with new students. Then again I can't blame them for their desperation to fuck someone. I mean they can't even get some from Snape. _**

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Dumbledore looked around. "Ok, whoever has the thought projector please stop. We need to finish the sorting." Rebecca grinned and slid into a seat beside Lily. Lily gave her a thumbs up.

"Well look who's hanging out with Lily now." Lupin grinned broadly, pointing over at the girls. Sirius looked over and groaned. James winced.

"Look man, I'm really sorry about this." James said, turning to his friend.

Sirius blinked. "Sorry about what?"

"Hello? She's hanging out with Evans now. She'll be hating you in no time." James sighed. "Your only chance to loose your virginity spoiled by your best friend's girlfriend? Man that's harsh." Sirius stared at James.

"Wow, ok, slow down! You mean he's still a virgin?" Peter looked shocked and Sirius looked appalled.

"Yeah… well there's only one problem with that whole theory James… and that is that Lily's not your girlfriend." Remus laughed as both James and Sirius tried to kill him with a look.

Finally the sorting was over. Alex, that Russian guy, was in Huffelpuf, the Brazilian boy was in Gryffindor, the Japanese and Ethiopian boys where in Ravenclaw, as where Gina and Adele.

Rebecca followed Lily up to the Gryffindor common room, staring at the corridors, the suits of armor, and the moving staircases. Finally settling into bed she grinned. There were a lot of things a clever person could do here to make trouble. In fact, she decided, it would be best to stay awake all night thinking of ways to make trouble… and thinking of Sirius Black.

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Sirius woke up his first morning back at Hogwarts and decided to take a shower. This was a relatively ordinary thing.

Rebecca woke up with a start as her alarm went off. She looked at it groggily. It read 6:45. "damn." She whispered. Another night with just 3 hours of sleep. She looked at her alarm clock again. It was on Sirius mode. She sat straight up, jumped out of bed, and ran out of the dormitories.

Sirius soaked up the warm water, feeling like for once he could actually relax. He had just finished rinsing all the shampoo out of his hair when he noticed something odd.

Rebecca stood outside the boy's bathroom, the magical video-camera in her hand. Her little spell was working perfectly. Then she noticed that Sirius looked surprised. She hurriedly checked her spell. Shit. She thought. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. She reversed the spell quietly and sighed. The walls were only supposed to look transparent from one side but she'd messed it up again. Shit mother fucking damn bitch. Well, at least she had a lot of footage.

Sirius stared around at the walls he could now see again. "What the hell just happened?" The moment before the walls had come back again he though he had seen someone standing outside in the corridor, watching him. He began drying himself off, majorly creeped out. He practically ran out of the bathroom and got dressed. What the hell is going on? he thought again.

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On the way to breakfast Sirius kept glancing over his shoulder. Every time someone would walk up behind him he would twitch. Remus and Peter where a bit worried about him. He'd never acted this way before. James, however, was growing bored of watching his best friend twitch and was getting rather annoyed with him for not telling what was going on.

"Hey, mate," James said, uncharacteristically calm for once, "why in the world are you twitching? I mean, at first it was funny because you looked like you had fleas but now… it's just weird."

"Well…" said Sirius slowly, "do you ever get that feeling where you don't know if something happened or not?"

"Never." James stated, "Go on."

"Well this morning I was taking a shower and the walls went all transparent. I though I saw someone standing outside the bathroom but then all of a sudden the walls came back and I couldn't see them any more." Sirius sighed, "Now I keep feeling like someone's following me, watching me."

James stared at him. "Man. You're wound up. Relax. This is just normal paranoia and start of the school year stress dilutions. Trust me; I get them all the time."

Sirius nodded, unconvinced. He checked the hall behind him one more time before following his friends James and Remus into the Great Hall. Peter scurried in after him.

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Rebecca watched Sirius's retreating back. He kept glancing around and she was afraid he would see her so she had to hang back a ways. Lily walked up to her and smiled. "Hey! What's up? You ran out of the dorm real fast this morning." Rebecca shrugged. "So," said Lily, ever enthusiastic, "excited about your first day at Hogwarts? It's probably really different from your old school."

"Yeah," Rebecca sighed distractedly, "at my old school you could go out into the city for lunch if you where 15 or older. Say, what do you know about Sirius Black?"

Lily looked surprised. "Well I know he hangs out with that conceited bully James Potter. I know his family is practically disowning him because he's in Gryffindor. Other than that I just know he's popular, smart, and conceited. But let's not talk about such a depressing subject before breakfast."

Rebecca stared at her as if Lily had just said the most obscene, infuriating thing ever. "Don't you dare insult my Sirius." Rebecca hissed and stormed off angrily into the great hall.

Lily stared after her. "Are all New Yorkers that obsessive or just her?" she asked no one in particular.Then she shrugged and walked into the Great Hall.

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Rebecca looked around frantically. Where was he? Where was he? Where the fuck was he! Sirius had to be here. She saw him walk in! He had to be here! She could see his friends, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew were all sitting together. But Sirius was no where. No where! G-D DAMN THAT BOY!

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Peter got up from his table. Sirius had left the table a while ago to sneak off to the kitchen and plan the next prank. It was going to be funny! He suppressed a giggle. Sirius had acted really strange these past days. He was like… paranoid. He seamed to think someone was stalking him. Peter tried not to giggle again and failed, receiving an odd look form the girl walking past him. He clapped his hands over his mouth and blushed. Then he noticed a really strange girl staring at him. Her clothing was WEIRD!

She walked up to him. "Where's Sirius?" she asked sharply.

Peter shrugged and tried to continue walking on past her. She stepped in front of him. "Where's Sirius?" she demanded.

"I don't know and I have a class of get to so just leave me alone ok?"

"WHERE'S SIRIUS!" she yelled it this time.

Peter jumped back. "Bloody hell! You don't have to scream. Why do you want to know anyway? You in love with him or something?" Then it struck him. "You're the one who's been stalking him! Oh wait until I tell him!"

"You're not going to tell him." she said coldly.

"Oh yes I am. He'll think it's hi-" He was suddenly cut off as the girl's fist made sharp contact with his lower jaw.

"Tell me where he is." This time it was a threat. Tell me where he is or else.

"He's in the kitchen I think. I don't know." Peter stammered in a panic. The girl turned sharply on her heal and stomped out of the Great Hall before one of the teachers even got close enough to put her into detention.

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Bastard. Rebecca growled in frustration. BASTARD! Stupid mother fucker! Let stupid Pettigrew burn in fucking hell! she pleaded to the G-d she didn't believe in. And she was getting tired of this whole stalking thing. It was unsatisfying. She was used to a little more action then this. This whole thing was just so damn frustrating! Suddenly a thought popped into her head. Now that would be more like her! That would be far more like her!

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Lily looked around the hall. Where the hell was Black? James walked up to her. "Hey Evens! Have you seen Black?"

"No," Lily said shaking her head absently, "I was just looking for her."

"Does Sirius know you think he's a girl?" James asked walking up to her.

"What does this have to do with Sirius?" Lily said confused.

"I just asked if you'd seen him and you said you were looking for him. Well you actually said her but anyway." He shrugged.

"Oh no. I meant I was looking for Rebecca Black. She just came in here a few minuets ago."

"Oh that girl. Sirius told us about her. She told him she loved him." James laughed. "Weird chick. Looks like she'd be fun to screw though." Lily turned red with anger and slapped him hard across the mouth. Then she turned and stomped out of the hall. "Damn." James said quietly, rubbing his cheek. "I really am never gonna get that girl am I."

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Sirius left the kitchen in a hurry. He was going to be late for class. Again. For the tenth time. He heard a noise behind him. He turned but there was nothing there. Sirius began to walk a little faster. The noise came again. It sounded like someone was trying to walk very quietly. Sirius spun around and starred. The caretaker's cat was staring right back at him which meant the caretaker wasn't far behind.

"Shit." Sirius whispered. He started to run around the corridors. They couldn't find out about this prank! That would ruin everything. He lost track of where he was. Suddenly he ran straight into someone. "Sorry." He said stepping back and looking at the person he'd crashed into. It was that girl from the platform, Rebecca. She looked around nervously as if she was trying to make her mind up about something.

Suddenly Rebecca threw her arms around his neck and started making out with him. He was a bit startled but he had no problem with making out with him so… "Wow! Your actually really good at this." he gasped when she stopped. She grinned and they started making out again. In fact they were so involved in making out they failed to notice the caretaker standing next to them until he whacked Sirius across the ass with a broom. They jumped apart and stared guiltily at him.

"You two are coming to my office." Said the caretaker with a malicious grin. He pushed the kids in front of him with the broom.

Sirius slid his arm around Rebecca's waist as they walked down towards the dungeons. "So," he whispered, "do you want to go out some time?"

Rebecca looked up at him. "go out or make out?" she asked.

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment. "Both." he decided.

"Definitely." Rebecca said grinning. Sirius smiled back at her as they walked off to the first of many detentions together.

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**AN:** Oh, how cute! So tell me how much you loved/hated it. And stay tuned for 99. Did you know that 99 of American lesbians lean on their girlfriend when they speak? Ginny sure didn't. If you don't like lesbians don't read it.


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